Classmates' deaths loom large over graduates

Originally Published June 17, 2007; Page 1A
By LEO STRUPCZEWSKI
Courier-Post Staff

When Brendon Hathaway was called Thursday to receive an award for his involvement in the Asian Club, the seniors at Pemberton Township High School quieted.

They had been all high-fives and hugs as their friends' names were called for involvement in student activities, because that's the way the senior award ceremony was supposed to go.

Assistant Principal Gary Horton told the crowd the night was a celebration of the class' growths and accomplishments.

But Hathaway, 17, died in a car accident April 26 and the announcement of his name hushed nearly everyone until one student stood up and cheered. Others had joined in by the time Hathaway's mother, Nu Siriphan, made the trip to the stage.

In two South Jersey school communities, officials are struggling to master a delicate balancing act of celebrating the joys of high school graduation with the reality that some classmates were left behind.

A school counseling expert said it is a growing trend across the country, as teenagers continue to die from car accidents and violence -- the No. 1 and 2 leading causes of death among the age group -- and their friends look for ways to remember them.

Both Pemberton Township and Shawnee Regional high schools faced the challenge this year. Shawnee High School senior Melissa Oakes died on March 3 from injuries she sustained during a car accident.

And four days before Hathaway's accident, fellow Pemberton senior Jahira Wortham died when a swerving car hit him as he walked along the shoulder of a road.

Both Wortham, 18, and Hathaway died on a 100-yard stretch of Pemberton-Browns Mills Road near Burlington County College. They were in the same gym class. Hathaway planned to attend Wortham's funeral, scheduled for the day Hathaway died, Hathaway's sister, Cindie said.
Thursday, the senior awards ceremony at Pemberton marked the beginning of the school's senior celebration. A baccalaureate ceremony will take place Monday. Graduation is Wednesday.

And while the mood surrounding graduation is no doubt joyous, Pemberton Township Principal Richard Nolan said his students are continuing to struggle with losing two classmates.
He stood in the hallway outside of the school's auditorium and pointed to a homemade poster memorializing Hathaway. Down the hall, on a wall by the door, was a photo of Wortham.

"They're all over the building," Nolan said.

Cindie Hathaway remembered her brother as an aspiring chef who planned to study cooking in Thailand after graduation. He was enthusiastic about it, she said, and started his forays in the kitchen with a Mother's Day breakfast when he was 8. Cindie Hathaway helped. The results were less than spectacular.

"It was gross," Cindie said, laughing.

But Brendon Hathaway's cooking improved. He often spent two to three days a week cooking with his grandmother and had dinner made for his mother when she came home from work.

"Now we eat at Wawa and Burger King," Cindie said.

While Brendon Hathaway mastered the kitchen, Wortham did the same with video games, said cousin Marius Kelsey.

Kelsey, also a senior at Pemberton, said the two were close, often hanging out with a group of friends after school to play video games or street football.

"He's probably the best I know at video games," Kelsey said, recalling that Wortham ribbed him for being a Cowboys fan. "He always played with the Eagles."

Pemberton's senior class will plant two plum trees in what will become a memorial amphitheater after Monday's ceremony.

Two empty chairs will be left for the students at graduation Wednesday. Cindie Hathaway, a freshman at the high school, will receive her brother's diploma. A member of Wortham's family will do the same for him.

"I know it's going to be weird, but I don't want there to be an empty seat," said Cindie Hathaway, who now administers her brother's MySpace page. "I don't want that to happen. I want all his stuff to be together."

To remember Hathaway and Wortham, Nolan opted to have the class decide the best way to memorialize the two students. The decisions came through a series of suggestions and votes..

"I went with what the kids wanted," Nolan said. "It's their graduation, not mine."

Delores Curry, secondary education vice president with the American School Counselor Association in Alexandria, Va., said it's important to keep emotions in check but still remember the deceased.

"It sort of helps (the students) get through and think on positive things," she said.

At Shawnee High School's graduation Friday night, the school planned to honor Oakes, whose accident on Brannin Road led to an outcry over the road's conditions.

Medford Township Police Chief James Kehoe said signs warning of the road's many twists and turns have been posted..

Curry said a shift in how those deaths are handled came after the Columbine shootings when tragedies began to intimately affect school communities.

"The new teachers have much, much more empathy and care for their kids," said Nolan, who has been an educator for 43 years. "It's a great thing."

Reach Leo Strupczewski at (856) 317-7828 or lstrupczewski@courierpostonline.com